Goodbye, Fat Patricia!

Ok first, for those of you who may not know the "Fat Patricia" reference, it's from Pitch Perfect :)

I want to say how incredibly humbled and grateful I am to each and every person who has reached out to me after my first blog post. I am amazed at the out-pouring of love that I have received in Facebook comments, blog comments, messages, texts, and phone calls. I truly am touched and every time I read a comment or message, I just cried and cried. You all mean so much to me and hearing all the kind words of support and encouragement have what has been the biggest help to me this week, so THANK YOU!! Thank you for loving me. Thank you for validating me. Thank you for reminding me that I am loved and worthy of being loved. I wasn't sure the reaction I was going to get when I decided to post such a personal and vulnerable blog, which is part of why I hesitated doing it in the first place. So many people hear "gastric bypass surgery" and there's such a stigma that follows. So again, THANK YOU, from the bottom of my heart.

For the last week and through this next week, I am on a full liquids diet. The purpose of the liquid diet is to help my stomach heal. My stomach was basically cut into two sections; the top part is the size of an egg and that is my new stomach pouch, and the bottom part they stapled the stop shut so that food cannot enter it anymore. I have to make sure that there aren't any leaks in the the staple lines so having liquids gives it time to heal. After 2 weeks of liquids, I will do 2 weeks of pureed foods only, followed by two weeks of soft foods and from there will gradually start to integrate regular foods back into the diet.

For the first two days after surgery I was only clear liquids only but then graduated to all liquids! Yay for me!.... I have to have 6, one-half cup meals every 2-3 hours. In order for it to count as a meal, it has to have 10-15g of protein in each meal. Right now my meals have consisted of Premier Protein shakes only because I have been waiting on my unflavored protein powder to arrive. Other meals that I can have are cream of chicken soups, with all the chunks strained out, with protein powder added, or other soups such as creamy cheddar, creamy broccoli, etc. It has to be completely smooth though so any chunks in it definitely have to be strained out. I can also have sugar free pudding with protein powder added, or cream of wheat with protein powder added. Good choices right? Such variety! Between each meal I have to have 12 ounces of hydrating liquids, to make a total of 60 ounces of liquid a day. I have been having things like sugar free jello, sugar free popsicles, water, crystal light, and V8 fusion light.

Overall, I have been doing really well adjusting to this liquid diet. I am definitely not hungry at all, that hasn't been an issue. The biggest challenge I have encountered is the psychological aspect of this diet. For years, food and I have become best friends. Food has been there for me through some of the hardest moments in life, and is always there at family gatherings, social functions, or my most favorite, last minute Taco Bell runs. Ah yes, Taco Bell has seen me through some dark days....Ok I got side tracked :)

Not being able to eat freely, like going to the fridge and making a sandwich, or having some toast and eggs for breakfast, or even something as wonderful as gulping down a bunch of ice cold water all at once, are luxuries I definitely miss. That has been the biggest challenge. When I am on Facebook, I see all those "Tasty" videos come up, with some amazing recipes that look SO good, it is hard to scroll past and not think about them. Or when I get a snap or a text of some good looking food....it's torture. I know that eventually I will be able to eat these yummy dishes but for now, it is torture to see them. It's hard to explain to other's if you haven't gone through this process, but just like anything in life, when you're told you can't have something, that's all you can think about. However, knowing I will be violently ill if I eat those things helps to bring me back to earth. There have been a few nights of lots of tears because of this psychological portion of the process, but I know it will get better.

Ok, here's some more real talk for you. I hesitate sharing this with you all, but I figure I might as well be completely open about everything to give everyone a clear picture of what this process is like. When I went to Virginia Mason in July, I weighed in at 344 pounds. Yes, you read that right. And wow I can't believe I just shared that with the world. Anyway, I weighed 330 at the pre-op appointment after being on the required diet for a week, and I had really been trying hard up to that point to try and get the weight down as much as I could on my own. I have gotten on the scale everyday since surgery. This morning when I got on, I am at 313. I am in shock!! That's 31 pounds total since July, but in one week, that is 17 pounds. ONE WEEK. ONE FREAKING WEEK!!! I am so incredibly excited!! (In case you couldn't tell.) This is what is making everything worth it. I put on real clothes this morning too (I've been wearing sweats and a t-shirt) to see if they felt any different. My shirts are already hanging looser and my pants are slipping off my hips. I finally feel like for the first time in my life, something is working!! It is validation to me that this again, was the right decision to make. I continue to feel that control of my life and am so looking forward to hitting that 25 pound mark, then the 50 pound. I just can't even imagine!!

I am happier than I have felt in a very long time, and for the first time I feel happy because of something I chose to do for MYSELF! I'm not losing weight for a guy, or trying to change myself for anyone else. There's nothing more freeing than that folks!

Thank again for your continued love and support, because this is going to be a long journey and I most definitely cannot do it alone!

I think I have lost the most weight so far in my face, or at least that seems to be where it's noticeable the most, in my opinion. I will most full body pics next time. But I am so happy and I hope it shows! :)

I wanted to share this diagram so you can see what changed with my anatomy. It's easier to look at this then have me explain :)